My New Blog

I've been thinking about starting a blog for awhile now and, having gotten over my fear of just how to do this thing, I finally decided to just jump in and see what happens. My fear mostly came from actually creating it - having to commit myself to some cool background, choose the BEST color EVER for a blog, try not to compare it to other blogs that I read and adore (how will my blog measure up?), and the constant fear of what if I don't make sense?

I know I have something to write about - in fact I have lots to write about - so...what the heck? Find a free blog, be amazed at all the cool backgrounds, and quit the whining about not knowing what I'm doing and just do this thing.

So here I am.

I have a need to write about what I'm reading. I am a voracious reader and I need to talk or write about these books. Here's how I experience books:

• Reading changes me. I believe reading changes people (I know it changes me). Or it can change us if we let it.
• Some of the best people I know I've met in the pages of a book. In fact, Ender Wiggins is the best person who has never lived.
• Books amaze me. Authors use the same 26 letters I use and they come up with these amazing stories. I am jealous.
• I learn from the stories of others. I learn about myself, others, life, etc.
• I strongly relate to many of the books I read. I find those moments to be powerful.
• I frequently use pieces of books to explain or make sense of something. For example, sometimes life is just one big Cobbbles Knot. Know what I mean? If you've read Maniac Magee by Jerry Spinelli you will.
• I frequently find myself trying to explain something by talking about something I've read. Books and stories are so much a part of me that I sometimes don't (or can't) separate the real from the read.
• I practice bibliotherapy - I learn from what I read. Reading is therapy.

So that's some of the things I think about reading and books. Thus my blog called Reader Baer. What I hope to do is to talk about the books I'm reading (or have read) and write about what I've learned about myself, life, others, whatever. This is not meant to be an analysis of any book - there will be no literary criticism in any form in my blog - rather this will be about experiencing books. For, to me, reading is far more than just decoding the words, speed, fluency, prosody, etc. - it's about life.

This blog is not meant to interest others in reading these books. In fact, there will most likely be spoilers in here as I intend to talk about any part of the book that I need to write about - even the ending. So there you have it. Be aware.

One more thing - I've been saving up a lot of reading to write about. In fact, I recently read three books from the Kalamazoo Public Library (thank you, Stewart!) that I keep renewing so I can write about them. I'm thinking that I may be blogging a lot for a few days - depending on if this thing actually saves and I can get it posted on my Facebook page. We'll see.

To jump right in...recently I read A Wizard of Earthsea (1968) by Ursula K. Le Guin. It's the first in a series but I'm not sure if I'll read anymore - although I do like Ged, the main character. It's a fantasy in the same spirit as Tolkien's Middle Earth or Lewis' Narnia, both of which I love. Interesting story line - young Ged realizes he is a wizard and this documents his journey and education.

Here's the interesting thing to me - at one point in the book, because of his insecurities and fear of rejection and his need to impress people (particularly a girl), Ged releases an unnamed, dark shadow on the earth that almost destroys him. His journey, which was difficult to begin with, now becomes one of urgency as this shadow is hell bent on killing Ged and no one knows what else it is capable of doing. Ged is constantly running from the shadow so his wizarding education is ended and he is forced to roam the world looking for a place to hide.

Spoiler Alert - I intend to tell what happens because this is where I find the story compelling.

At one point in the book Ged realizes that he can no longer run from this shadow. In fact, he needs to pursue it and as soon as he changes course, the shadow flees. Ged quickly realizes that he must catch the shadow as his very life depends on it. When Ged confronts it in the darkness of a cave, here's what happens:

"Aloud and clearly, breaking that old silence, Ged spoke the shadow's name and in the same moment the shadow spoke without lips or tongue, saying the same word: 'Ged.' And the two voices were one.

Ged reached out his hands, dropping his staff, and took hold of his shadow, of the black self that reached out to him. Light and darkness met, and joined, and were one."

At this point in the book I stopped. Reread, reread, reread, reread, reread. Then it struck me. I am Ged. The dark and the light - all of it is a part of me. But how often do I run from the dark or want to stay with just the light?

I am Ged.