Bleh

Sooooo....in a moment of wanting to be in on the latest craze, I bought A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin. I tend to do this sometimes because it's important to me to keep up with what others are reading and that worked quite well when I picked up HP1 when HP3 was first published. But, truth be told, HP is truly an extraordinary book and Rowling's writing is new and bold. The latest trend thing is also why I picked up the first Twilight book. It's nothing like HP but, as my daughter and I agree, it's our kind of trashy novel. Can't do the Harlequin Romance stuff but Twilight does have it's moments.

Besides...I love me some Vampires. Buffy, True Blood, Twilight - love it.

I am, however, very disappointed in A Game of Thrones. I'm trudging my way through it and keep putting it down for reading Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. What an irony is that! There's nothing outstanding about Thrones.

The book is written in somewhat short chapters and each one is from one character's perspective. When Jodi Piccoult did that in My Sister's Keeper, it was fascinating as each character had some distinctive trait that made him/her interesting. Can't say the same thing for Thrones. As I was introduced to each character I found myself repeatedly thinking, "Hmmm. Nothing new here. Of course this sister is a tomboy. Of course this sister is the pretty one. Of course this younger brother is the adventuresome one. Of course this queen is wicked." It was a constant "Of course, of course, of course." Makes for some stale reading.

I've picked it up once or twice in the past couple of days to see if it possibly gets any better and it just doesn't. OK - the land that Martin created has some interesting possibilities but it's just not well done. Nothing like Orson Scott Card's world in the Ender Series or Suzanne Collin's 13 districts in The Hunger Games.

Another interesting thing is that I have a friend who is a Teen Librarian and he said the same thing. I knew I liked that guy.

So skip it. And read a banned book instead.

Past Sins

It's been awhile since I posted a new blog but thoughts have been brewing in my head about two books I recently read. One is The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood and the other is In the Woods by Tana French - two totally different books with individual stories that are, at times compelling and other times, disturbing. A bit about the books (with no spoilers - maybe):

In the Woods is set in present day Ireland and as it says on the back of the novel, is a psychological thriller. And it is. At the beginning of the book three children go into the woods by their house, as is their normal thing to do, but after hours missing, two are gone and one, Adam, is found alive. And he is clutching to a tree terrified and his clothes and shoes are filled with blood. The other two are never found. The remainder of the book follows the survivor who is now a detective and goes by the name of Rob Ryan as another child has been found murdered near those very same woods. Nothing easy about this story. But the characters are full and complicated. In fact, I just bought French's second book, The Likeness, that follows Cassie Maddox, Ryan's partner, in another thriller. Good stuff.

The Blind Assassin is set in America in 1945 through 1947 or so. It's a bit of a confusing book and took some definite concentration to follow Atwood's plot. But it's worth the work. This, too, has a death early on as Laura drives her car off a bridge to her death. The question is if it was suicide or an accident. The older sister, Iris, is the narrator and tells the reader about growing up in this somewhat dysfunctional family. The cool (and confusing) thing about this is that there is a book (The Blind Assassin) within the book (The Blind Assassin). Go figure that one out.

So, what do these two books have in common? The authors constantly take the reader back in time to when the characters were young to explain present day behavior. The past is what is forming the present. Which is so true for life. My past can define or form my present.

For Rob Ryan, that event defined the rest of his life. His family quickly moved from the small town near the woods. The murder went unsolved and his life was, as would be expected, changed forever. He started using his middle name and no one connected him as the "boy who survived."

For Iris Chase Griffen, her future was determined by her father's need for money to keep a business intact. A marriage of convenience, one that promised some lucrative support for his factory, was made and Iris's life was changed forever. Not to mention the fact that her sister drove off a bridge.

Both of these people said nothing. Silence. The reader, of course, is privy to their thoughts and struggles so I found myself saying repeatedly...."if only..." But the "if only" never came.

So it got me thinking. How much do I not say? How much has my present been determined by my past? But does it have to be so?

I think not. While my past has already been set, it's not my present nor is it my future. A good friend of mine told me something interesting about the brain. The back of the brain, I think it's called the medulla oblongata, registers emotions and has no concept of time. So if I was scared of something as a child and something similar happens to me today, that part of my brain will go..."RUN!!!! IT'S THE MONSTER IN THE CLOSET! RUN!!!!" Even though there's no monster in the closet anymore (maybe a cat but no monster - and there were real monsters in my closet on Giddings St. in Chicago!). The frontal part of the brain (no idea what that is called and I Googled an image of the brain) is the logical part that understands time and reality. So I need to get the front part of my brain to control the emotional back part of my brain so I can get control.

The point is that I can control my present and my future and when I experience some emotional response that doesn't make sense to me today, it could be a blast from the past. So I can always choose to act differently.

And talking to people is a good thing. Thinking things through with a trusted friend or a therapist is most excellent.

Iris could have made different decisions so she wouldn't have ended up as she did (no spoiler there). Same thing with Rob. I always have a choice. We always have a choice. Even when we decide to do nothing, that is a choice.

And, yes, choices have consequences. So figure those out, too.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Flames

My eyes are red and I'm overwhelmed. I just finished reading Threads and Flames by Esther Friesner and am a bit speechless but I have to talk about this book.

The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory burned on March 25, 1911 - 100 years ago tomorrow. Such a horrid event that has been documented in this book by Friesner. It is one of the most moving books I've ever read. Since I can't seem to organize my thoughts about this book, I'm going to write this as a bullet list:

• The life of immigrant Jews in the early 20th century was harsh and filled with hopes, dreams, and fears. Raisa, 14 at the beginning of the book, left her shtetl in Poland to join her sister, Henda, who had come to America four years previous. The description of the journey in the bowels of the ship is fraught with difficulty as people of all ages huddled together hoping for fresh air and the hope of the Golden Land.
• Raisa is amazing. At times I found her to be so irritating but she is strong beyond words. Her faith is unwavering and her ability to care for others is astounding. She is of a single mind - she will find a way to survive and live. How I wish I had that strength.
• The description of the life of immigrants in New York is strikingly detailed and spot on. The many smells, faces, and languages drip from each page. Friesner is best, I think, at these descriptions. The conversation was a bit stunted at times but that didn't get in the way of the story. But the descriptions of tenement life! Wow...
• The people are full of life and hopes and fears and reality and dreams and death...But they are real. Each one of them. And they are surprising. So surprising.
• The FIRE. That FIRE. The images created on those pages will stay with me for a long time but they are so important to experience.

We need to remember this - One Hundred Years Ago March 25, 1911 - 146 garment workers died. We can never forget that people die on their jobs still today because of the need to make more and more money. Life is precious. Putting the greed of corporations before quality of life or life itself is unforgivable.

And I just thought of this. What I'm taking away from this book is that I am a proud member of the Western Michigan University American Association of University Professors. I've been a member of the Ohio Educators Association and will be a union member all of my life. What is happening in America today is the persistent degrading of unions and the millions of people who are represented by them. Teachers, police, firefighters, state employees - we are all at risk of losing something precious. Pride in what we do and the fact that we are worth far more than the wages we make.

We can never let anything like the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire happen again - literally or figuratively. Never. People have worth. I have worth. I will never forget that nor will I ever let anyone try to make me feel worthless.

Balls

It's been awhile (a long while) since I've written anything on this blog. Not that I haven't been writing because I have but that writing was (and still is) somewhat stressful and filled with potential for even more stress. So it's about time that I write something about what I've been reading because I've been reading a lot.

I honestly have a hard time remembering everything that I've read and I should keep a list or something like that, but I don't. I do have a Goodreads account which is very cool and every reader should join Goodreads. I especially like their Friday Facebook posting where they ask people what they are reading. I always add my current book so I suppose that's some kind of archive. At any rate, here's a partial listing of what I've read in the last three months (what I can remember):

Welcome to the Ark by Stephanie Tolan

Banner in the Sky by James Ramsey Ullman

(My daughter-in-law, Maria, gave me those 2 books for Christmas - how cool is that?)

Point of Impact by Stephen Hunter

Deliver Us from Evil by David Baldacci (my first Baldacci book - very good)

A bunch of Charlaine Harris vampire books (my kind of trashy, mindless novel):

Dead Until Dark

Living Dead in Dallas

Club Dead

Pathfinder by Orson Scott Card (love Card! What an author)

Ender in Exile (love Ender! What a guy)

And then, just recently, I read Please Ignore Vera Dietz by A.S. King. I got a huge box of free books when I went to the ALAN conference last November in Orlando. I took the books out of the box and they've been sitting in my study in a stack. One night when I had finished a book and needed something new, I picked up Vera Dietz. And I'm so glad that I did.

Here's the question - what do we do when we see someone being bullied? It's a very complex question that is not easy to answer. I would like to say that I jump right in and try to put a stop to it. But I don't always do that. Not for others and surely not when I'm being bullied. Which, as I hope people know, happens to adults all the time. Bullying is not restricted to school yards. Bullying can and does happen everywhere - in families, in workplaces, online, you name it and a bully lives and thrives there.

And bullying takes on many forms. Yes, it can be physical which is horrid - like the young man who was killed because he was gay (and that still happens far too many times). But bullying can be verbal, emotional, even cognitive - "you're really not a very good writer, are you?" or "wow, you really sucked on that test!" The purpose of all of that is to make me (or you) believe that somehow I am deficient. And the beauty of that kind of bullying is that it attacks that which I am particularly good at. Something professional. I've had fellow teachers attack my teaching ability as they wanted to undermine me. What a hoot!

But I ramble - back to Vera Dietz. This YA book was a surprise to me. I had no idea what I was in for but I'm glad I picked it up. The book is told in four voices: Vera Dietz (17 years old), Charlie (17 years old but dead), Vera's dad (old?? who also includes flow charts to explain life), and The Pagoda (a landmark in the town). Fascinating from the get go.

The book plays with time as Vera writes her memories - from childhood through yesterday - and then describes what's happening today. The book is mostly from Vera's perspective but the other voices pop in to give other perspectives. Charlie's voice is particularly a joy. But his life is not.

There's lots of stuff happening in this book. Some powerful quotes:

Dad: The trick is remembering that change is as easy as you make it. The trick is remembering that you are the boss of you.

Charlie: The thing you don't see while you're still there on Earth is how easy it is to change your mind.

Vera: Drink anyone?

Charlie: Why do people think there are clear answers for things anyway? There aren't. Why does my dad hit my mom?

The Pagoda: It's true. 47% of children in this town live below the poverty level.

Charlie: Please don't hate me.

It's a complicated story but since I don't want to have to do a Spoiler Alert here, let's just say:

The important thing about bullying is stopping it.

Stand up and do something,

Tell someone.

Tell someone something.

Believe the victim and do something.

But the important thing about bullying is stopping it.

My boys, both of whom I love dearly, would put it another way - Grow some balls. Step in and do something.

And I tell myself that everyday..."Allison, grow some balls and do something."

Three Books at Once!

I have three books piled up on my desk right now that I must return to the Kalamazoo Public Library soon as I've renewed them twice. So this blog will be about all three of them - talk about killing one stone with three books! In order of reading, here they are:

Book One - Ship Breaker by Paolo Bacigalupi (you have no idea how I pronounce this name - comes out sounding like Paolo Backilagagaupi)

This book is a bit Mad Max meets the Exxon Valdez meets BP Oil. Life, as we know it, is gone. Oil, gone. Compassion, gone. Life is simple - survive or don't. Doesn't matter one way or the other. Especially if you're a ship breaker diving into the guts of an old oil rig pulling out the miles of copper wire to sell for scrap. And, of course, the only ones who can fit into those pipes in the ships? Small, thin children.

Nailer is great at finding stuff to recycle and other stuff, too, that will help keep his father happy and stop the beatings. Nailer's life is one giant SURVIVOR as safety is not a word he uses lightly. When he finds the ultimate scavenge opportunity, a new solar/wind powered vessel, he also finds a girl who could be worth more money than any pile of scrap. So begins the adventure....

But friendship and sacrifice and honesty and trust are all issues in this book. Things that, I think, are so essential to life - a good life. I enjoyed this book and will surely recommend it to people but I can't say that there was any moment when I found myself saying..."Oh, Wow. This is important." So enough about Ship Breaker. Read it. If you like dystopian societies with redemption (which I really do need in books), then you'll like it.

Book Two - Incarceron by Catherine Fisher

What the heck is Incarceron?? What the heck is going on in this book? Took me a while to figure it out but it was so worth it! Turns out Incarceron is a prison (get it - incarceration?) but it's ALIVE! It thinks, plans, moves, rumbles, shifts, breathes, watches, and talks. It talks!

So there's two worlds going on in this book - world one = Incarceron and world two = outside. Finn is inside Incarceron and Claudia is outside. Each trying to get to the other. Really weird stuff goes on in this book. Lots of adventure, interesting settings (it's a talking prison!), and the characters are fascinating. And just what is going on with Claudia's father, the Warden of Incarceron? And what's up with this odd world that's in the future but decides that it likes Medieval times better so switches the entire world back in time?

There's a lot going on in this book that I wanted to make some kind of graphic organizer to plot it all out - who goes where, who knows who, what's happening there, what time period is this, stuff like that. It actually would be quite fun to do that.

But nothing much that struck me personally on this one either but, again, it's a great read so go get it and read it. I think there might be a sequel to it but am not sure.

Book Three - Black Swan Green: A Novel by David Mitchell

Set in England, 1982. Each chapter is like a short story written by Jason Taylor, 13 years-old, as he talks about a year of his life. And the kid has a stammer - not a stutter - a stammer. Did you know they are different?

What a dull, yet fascinating, life. What can possibly happen to a 13 year-old kid in England? Lots. Here's a taste of his life using quotes from various chapters (can you figure out what's happening?):

"Now Tom Yew's body jerkjerked judderily jackknifed and a noise like a ripping cable tore out of him. Once more, like he'd been booted in the balls."

"So anyway, Arthur Evesham's kingdom'd uglified since his death. A Stature of Liberty lay like a dropped murder weapon. Pooh Bear looked like an acid attack victim. The world unmakes stuff faster than people can make it. Jimmy Carter's nose'd fallen off."

"Dad made his way to the bathroom like he was in zero gravity. I heard him undo his zip. he tried to piss quietly onto the porcelain. Piss drummed onto the bathroom floor. A wavery second later it chundered into the bog. The piss lasted forty-three seconds. (My record's fifty-two.)"

The language in this book is beautiful and confusing at the same time as it's British slang at it's best. And the writing is dense and elegant.

And then there's the bullies. Bullies. Bloody bullies. They do horrid things all in the name of "boys having fun." But they are, and always will be, bullies.

That is what got me in this book. The bullies. And more than what the bullies did, it's about what Jason did to stand up to them. This isn't really a spoiler because you can see it coming - but Jason actually does what I need to do - stand up to the bullies and call them out.

Bullies are everywhere - not just in the playground. They are in corporate offices, schools, stores, families, neighborhoods - they are everywhere. But Jason stood up and said, "No more." That makes all the difference. No more. No more.

Stand up. Say it with me, people....."No more."

Excellent. Now I can return these books and maybe begin the double, two-foot high stack of books on the floor next to my desk?? I am. Started one last night...

My New Blog

I've been thinking about starting a blog for awhile now and, having gotten over my fear of just how to do this thing, I finally decided to just jump in and see what happens. My fear mostly came from actually creating it - having to commit myself to some cool background, choose the BEST color EVER for a blog, try not to compare it to other blogs that I read and adore (how will my blog measure up?), and the constant fear of what if I don't make sense?

I know I have something to write about - in fact I have lots to write about - so...what the heck? Find a free blog, be amazed at all the cool backgrounds, and quit the whining about not knowing what I'm doing and just do this thing.

So here I am.

I have a need to write about what I'm reading. I am a voracious reader and I need to talk or write about these books. Here's how I experience books:

• Reading changes me. I believe reading changes people (I know it changes me). Or it can change us if we let it.
• Some of the best people I know I've met in the pages of a book. In fact, Ender Wiggins is the best person who has never lived.
• Books amaze me. Authors use the same 26 letters I use and they come up with these amazing stories. I am jealous.
• I learn from the stories of others. I learn about myself, others, life, etc.
• I strongly relate to many of the books I read. I find those moments to be powerful.
• I frequently use pieces of books to explain or make sense of something. For example, sometimes life is just one big Cobbbles Knot. Know what I mean? If you've read Maniac Magee by Jerry Spinelli you will.
• I frequently find myself trying to explain something by talking about something I've read. Books and stories are so much a part of me that I sometimes don't (or can't) separate the real from the read.
• I practice bibliotherapy - I learn from what I read. Reading is therapy.

So that's some of the things I think about reading and books. Thus my blog called Reader Baer. What I hope to do is to talk about the books I'm reading (or have read) and write about what I've learned about myself, life, others, whatever. This is not meant to be an analysis of any book - there will be no literary criticism in any form in my blog - rather this will be about experiencing books. For, to me, reading is far more than just decoding the words, speed, fluency, prosody, etc. - it's about life.

This blog is not meant to interest others in reading these books. In fact, there will most likely be spoilers in here as I intend to talk about any part of the book that I need to write about - even the ending. So there you have it. Be aware.

One more thing - I've been saving up a lot of reading to write about. In fact, I recently read three books from the Kalamazoo Public Library (thank you, Stewart!) that I keep renewing so I can write about them. I'm thinking that I may be blogging a lot for a few days - depending on if this thing actually saves and I can get it posted on my Facebook page. We'll see.

To jump right in...recently I read A Wizard of Earthsea (1968) by Ursula K. Le Guin. It's the first in a series but I'm not sure if I'll read anymore - although I do like Ged, the main character. It's a fantasy in the same spirit as Tolkien's Middle Earth or Lewis' Narnia, both of which I love. Interesting story line - young Ged realizes he is a wizard and this documents his journey and education.

Here's the interesting thing to me - at one point in the book, because of his insecurities and fear of rejection and his need to impress people (particularly a girl), Ged releases an unnamed, dark shadow on the earth that almost destroys him. His journey, which was difficult to begin with, now becomes one of urgency as this shadow is hell bent on killing Ged and no one knows what else it is capable of doing. Ged is constantly running from the shadow so his wizarding education is ended and he is forced to roam the world looking for a place to hide.

Spoiler Alert - I intend to tell what happens because this is where I find the story compelling.

At one point in the book Ged realizes that he can no longer run from this shadow. In fact, he needs to pursue it and as soon as he changes course, the shadow flees. Ged quickly realizes that he must catch the shadow as his very life depends on it. When Ged confronts it in the darkness of a cave, here's what happens:

"Aloud and clearly, breaking that old silence, Ged spoke the shadow's name and in the same moment the shadow spoke without lips or tongue, saying the same word: 'Ged.' And the two voices were one.

Ged reached out his hands, dropping his staff, and took hold of his shadow, of the black self that reached out to him. Light and darkness met, and joined, and were one."

At this point in the book I stopped. Reread, reread, reread, reread, reread. Then it struck me. I am Ged. The dark and the light - all of it is a part of me. But how often do I run from the dark or want to stay with just the light?

I am Ged.